Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize