well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
