I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
