yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
