you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
