I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
