in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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