that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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