: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
