he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
