Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The struggles of a small town man whore
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
