Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
