ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
