She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
