I wish you could order shots online.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
