how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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