I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
