Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
