Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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