i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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