Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
