The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize