who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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