she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
