John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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