she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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