guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
did you just send me my own nude
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
