Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
