hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You made out with two different species that night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
