it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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