I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i think my mom watched the whole time
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
