I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
