I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Fuck appropriateness.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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