playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
