you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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