I puked a lego.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
