Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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