Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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