You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize