I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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