I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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