But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
