I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
