508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
