There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
