I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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