I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
