There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
