DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
