I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Randomize
