How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
