I think i peed on brittanys purse
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
