Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
