Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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