quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
