Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
