just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
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