i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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