my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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