Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
