i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
