Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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