Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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