i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
