I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Randomize
