I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
