i think i have two assholes
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
