Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
