Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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