Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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