we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Dignity is for republicans.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
