why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
