i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
