Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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