I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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