I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
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