bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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