I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
