But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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