Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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