I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
